It was too damn gorgeous.
So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND
HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND
NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN
I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES
NICK P L E A S E
Famous Last Words:
- Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose. - Queen Marie Antoinette after she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner as she went to the guillotine.
- I can’t sleep. - J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan
- I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
- I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct. - Dominique Bouhours, famous French grammarian
- I live! - Roman Emperor, as he was being murdered by his own soldiers.
- Dammit…Don’t you dare ask God to help me. - Joan Crawford to her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.
- I am perplexed. Satan Get Out. - Aleister Crowley – famous occultist.
- Now why did I do that? - General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.
- Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’! - James French, a convicted murderer, was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were to witness his execution
- Bugger Bognor. - King George V whose physician had suggested that he relax at his seaside palace in Bognor Regis.
- It’s stopped. - Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse
- LSD, 100 micrograms I.M. - Aldous Huxley (Author) to his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.
- You have won, O Galilean. - Emperor Julian, having attempted to reverse the official endorsement of Christianity by the Roman Empire.
- No, you certainly can’t. - John F. Kennedy in reply to Nellie Connally, wife of Governor John Connelly, commenting “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President.
- I feel ill. Call the doctors. - Mao Zedong (Chairman of China)
- Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here. - Nostradamus
- Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around! - Carl Panzram, serial killer, shortly before he was executed by hanging.
- Put out the bloody cigarette!! - Saki, to a fellow officer while in a trench during World War One, for fear the smoke would give away their positions. He was then shot by a German sniper who had heard the remark.
- Please don’t let me fall. - Mary Surratt, before being hanged for her part in the conspiracy to assassinate President Lincoln. She was the first woman executed by the United States federal government.
- Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies. - Voltaire when asked by a priest to renounce Satan.
No, but you forgot the best one
Either this wallpaper goes, or I do- Oscar Wilde, dying in an unfortunately papered hotel room
Oh my, Voltaire. I laughed at that one, too.
Nostradamus oh my god
Imagine Cecil being a completely cliché boyfriend and wanting to propose with the whole ring in a champagne glass but instead of champagne it’s a highly corrosive liquid in an Erlenmeyer flask and Cecil just drops the ring in and iT FUCKING EXPLODES AND HE JUST YELLS ‘MARRY ME’
i wish i had a little toilet and sink in the corner of my room so i wouldnt have to walk all the way to the bathroom
That’s a prison cell
In prison your food gets cooked for you as well.
I’m beginning to think murdering people I don’t like wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
you do realize that there’s probably police officers on here, right?
oh no what are they going to do send me to prison?