i tried to invoke the powers of jesus on my history test but the lord has failed me
i’m glad plants can’t talk because when you’d water them they’d make gross drinking noises and be like “mmmm MMMMMmmmm MMMMMM” and it’d be SO UNCOMFORTABLE
and then when you stepped on grass it’d be like “oi what the fuck m8”
is ur grass australian
one day benedict cumberbatch and tom hiddleston are gonna win all of the oscars and theyre gonna be like “oh bless you but i cant take all of these here give them to the nominees yes bless you im so sorry”
And that was how Leonardo DiCaprio finally got an Oscar.